The Mayan calendar ends in 2012. Somehow, I find that more compelling than talk of an Armageddon, or the Rapture, or a nuclear holocaust. I think it must be due to the fact that this ancient civilization was one of (or maybe the) first to create a calendar for marking time, and the fact they created it so far into the future and then marked it with "an end"; well that just arrests my attention, i find I can't let it go.
So, for discussion sake, What if the world ends in 2012? That is 3 years and a few months, or possibly up to 4 years and a couple of months. What next?
I've been thinking on this questions for days now. It is hard to imagine living any differently, how weird is that? I guess I had a notion that if I knew exactly how long i had to live, I would maybe do things differently. But right now, there are only a few things.
One, I'd stop making my 13 year old go to school. If we wanted to go, fine, but if he'd rather learn about things through exploration of his environment, fine too.
I'd really like to show my kids certain parts of the world, so I'd probably take our meager savings, and an equity loan, and tour the world. I'd like to go to Africa and see Mt. Kilimanjaro, zebras, giraffes, and those really cool Trees. I'd like to visit the Chilean coast, The Fjords of both Norway and New Zealand, and swim with Dolphins.
As for the rest, I have a wonderful husband and four great boys, and we own a business that I enjoy 9 days out of 10. We have a decent house and mostly I am content. Interestingly enough though, I can't say I am overwhelmed with happiness. This puzzles me.
The only thing I can pinpoint is I hate worrying about money. I wonder, if my husband and I owned outright our three acres, and had enough savings to finish the updates to our home (door trim, new windows, etc.) were able to raise a few sheep, a few chickens, grow a garden, keep our orchard thriving, canned our fresh fruits and veggies, would I be happier than I am now?
Maybe, but I also know that I like to have some lazy days, and I can't imagine that would be the case if we were subsistence living. Maybe I am a slight worrier, and that surprises me too. I'll have to think more on that.
What next? I wish I knew.
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2 comments:
Hiya. It's interesting that you seem to have so much wonderful stuff in your life - and you know that you do - but you're not as happy as you seem to think you should be. Have you always settled back to the same level of happiness after the peaks of events such as marriage and childbirth? Research suggests that we tend to have a happiness set point...but then I know from my own experience that you can make yourself happier, although it's too early to know if that will be lasting or not.
In any case, being "mostly content" is a pretty good way to be! I think a consistent level of contentment is preferable to peaks and troughs in some ways.
I had to think on your question a while.
And, No, I don't think I have settled back to a same level of happiness.
I think it may be one of those paradoxes, where there is something I really really wnated, like for my whole life, and I got it. For many years now, almost 10, I was ecstatic with it. Now it is more like content with it, but an edge of dissatisfaction that suggests... now what?
In a way it is good, because it keeps pushing me to grow, I'm just trying to find the way to keep the joy in what I have while determining and dicovering the next thing.
Maybe that is truly the source of my slight glumness. I think I will explore that a bit in a new post. Thanks for the comment, and the smiles.
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